Life Changes (again)

As has happened over the last 15 years, I find myself home again without a job. My worst fear. It seems that I can't find a place that I can excel, but then maybe the problem is with me. I won't give up, though. There are more jobs here than in Evanston, so I'm glad I'm here. I may go into IT development, then use my QA skills to do software quality assurance. There are alot of opportunities for this kind of work. Anyway, we'll regroup and see if I can figure it out.

My Favority Sister in Law

Today I received word that Lora Helen Parker Newcomer passed away last night in her sleep. She was my secret girl friend even after she had married my brother Ted and had four kids. Lora was a stickler for organization, she could talk to anyone and size them up in about 30 seconds. She learned to cook wonderful dishes after living in the south, Okinawa and other parts while Ted was in the Air Force. She had a beautiful smile, a quick wit and her eyes always sparkled when she was having fun. Lora hasn't been the same Lora for almost 4 years as she was diagnosed with a brain disease that took away her motor skills and verbal skills but not her memory or personality. I last saw her last October when us siblings celebrated Ted and Lora's 50th wedding anniversary. She got a degree in Interior Design at the University of Wyoming, was a docent at the Buffalo Bill Historical Museum in Cody, Wy and taught Jr High and High School. She was a wonderful wife and mother. I hope she is having a wonderful time talking to her father, who preceded her in death in 1972. She will be missed by those of us who knew her and loved her.

35 Years and Still Going Strong

I know this is late, but my heart is still beating stronger than ever for my sweetheart, lover, confident and best friend. Because our anniversary fell on a Thursday(May 20th), we decided to do the actual celebrating on Friday (May 21). So, after work we went to a restaurant and had lobster tail, then went to an opera in downtown Salt Lake. The opera was from Puccini and involved two one act operas. The first one was a tragedy about a nun in an Italian convent. Her family hadn't been to visit her for years and she had a terrible secret...she had given birth to an illegitimate son before she became a nun and found out that her son had died. So, she wanted to kill herself to be with her son. Then the second one was a farce about a rich man who was on his deathbed and all his relatives were waiting for him to die. Anyway, without boring anyone who might want to read this, the operas were great but the fact that my wife is still with me after all these years is the best part. We have enjoyed each others company all these years and love the children that she bore. My life has been so much better as a married man. I couldn't have accomplished nearly as much in my life without my Debbie by my side. I love her so and want my children and friends who read this to know that she has made me a better person. Like all men that I know, I married above myself. She is the best person I could have ever married.

Roots

Debbie and I recently drove the Banner Wyoming to honor my Uncle Ralph and Aunt Nellie for being married for 70 years. The east side of the Big Horn Mountains is where my roots are firmly buried. My father was born in Banner, Wy, my mother born in Oshoto, Wy (by Sundance and Devils Tower) When I arrived in 1952 I was born in Buffalo, Wy where my father had found employment with the Federal Land Bank. Two weeks ago I drove through Buffalo to look at favorite places and familiar sites. The Masonic Temple which was where my dad had his office was being torn down. It saddened me because one more pillar of my youth is gone. The high school where I watched my brother and sisters play basketball, drama and band and where I studied, played in the band, ran track and played basketball has been torn down. The land that my parents owned ( a mere ten acres) now has three homes other than the one I grew up in. The garden spot where I anxiously watched as dad plowed in the spring so we could plant all the vegetables that would sustain us through the year is covered by a shed.

Today I sit in our new home in Lehi, UT having spent 32 years, 7 months and 10 days not living in Utah. I think now that Debbie and I can really put down roots. We've had neighbors offer to help, bring fresh baked banana bread or just drop in to introduce themselves. I'm excited to move into this phase of our life where we can visit our children and they can visit us and it only takes 10 minutes to get from one house to another.

Many years ago, a musical called "Paint Your Wagon" had a song which I feel has been the story of my life. "Wandering Star". The question is: have I finaly found a place to live where I can feel comfortable? Can I stay employed long enough to save some monies upon my sweet wife and I can depend to serve a mission? Will I stay healthy enough to spend time with my children and grandchildren and watch them grow and progress?

I felt the tug of Newcomer roots two weeks ago when I visited with my cousins. Debbie has felt the tug of Sprague and Sessions roots when visiting Powell and Byron, Wy. Now our roots are in Utah Valley and we can visit other places, but I finally feel that we have truly found our home.

Rayley

I have been having so much fun with granddaughter Rayley this week. She is a very busy girl for being 17 months old. She's a great, fearless climber. She climbs on chairs, her high chair, sofas and gets into things. She likes to climb on the piano and the back of davenport. She's had a cold this week and runs out of both nostrils, but it doesn't slow her down. My best way of describing her is this: a 17th month body with a 24 month spirit. She is like her dad. Once he got caught up with his preemie time, he jumped ahead and couldn't wait for anything.

I'm so glad that Mom and I could be here with Trevor and Ellen. No Snow, no below 20 degree temps. No salt on the roads. Its been real nice. I love all of our children and grandchildren, no matter where they live.

Peace on Earth, Good Will Toward Men

One of my favorite Christmas Hymns is "I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day" During the Vietnam War in the Mid '60's, the words "Peace on Earth, Good Will Toward Men" seemed hollow to me because there wasn't peace on earth and I often wondered, if in my life time, I would ever experience that wonderful sense of having peace. Over the years, I have learned that peace on earth begins in the home.

There is a song that begins, "A house becomes a home when there's love inside". This is true. A home is the harbinger of goodness, of learning and teaching respect towards each other by being good examples. Each of our homes is not perfect, but when we are willing to work with one another, communicate our thoughts and feelings toward one another, and seek out the best in one another, our houses truly become of home where love abounds.

As Christmas fills our hearts with love for our spouses, our children and grandchildren, we desire look for the goodness, the character of who we are, the sweetness in all of our interactions. The world is full of crassness, criticism, manipulation, hate, envy and simple selfishness. I appreciate that we have children who are willing to share with one another and to help one another as circumstances allow.

Mom and I are in Elko Nev where we spent the night and we will be traveling to Trevors' today to spend the Christmas holiday with his family. We are grateful beyond words to have had the opportunity to share our lives with so many of our family members this past year. We have grown closer to our grandchildren, our children, their spouses and our own siblings. I hope everyone understands that mom and I delight in being around members of our family.

Things happen in this life where we have little choice over the matter. And sometimes we make choices with good intentions but the consequences are not what we expected. We all fall into this situation, and it really becomes our choice on how we respond to these situations. We can offer words of criticism, spread gossip and purposefully hurt the other person....or we can be understanding, listen to understand and subject the natural man to the higher law of Christ like love.

Yesterday in a Walmart, I was in a line at the self checkout stand when this man in front of me who was waiting with several people in front of him. He suddenly slammed things from his hand into his cart, then walked in front of two people who were also waiting, grabbed their cart and pushed it to the next open kiosk. He loudly said they should move forward instead of waiting and waiting. I thought it was neat that he was helping a family. Then he came back to his cart and in a loud voice exclaimed, "How can people be so stupid. I can't believe stupid people don't look ahead." When he said this, another man in front of him, looked around and said, "Hey, this is Christmas season, we don't need that".
I observed this and thought it was interesting that in helping the other people he did good, but in opening his mouth and making critical remarks he revealed who he really was.

I know that I have made disparaging remarks in my lifetime and I am not perfect in being helpful. It is a challenge for me to be aware of what I am saying and to recognize where I could be more helpful.I really try not to say things that will be hurtful. If I can do better at this, and be more cognizant of where I can be most help, then maybe our home can be a better source of "Peace on Earth, Good Will Toward Men."

I wish all who read this a very Merry Christmas and hope that 2010 will be a wonderful New Year for all of us.

Brotherhood Found

I had an interesting experience this past Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. Deb and I went to visit Ted and Lora at their house in Ft. Collins, Co. Before we went to bed on Sunday night, I asked Ted if he wanted to walk with me in the morning. He said he did. What happened over the next three mornings is what I want to blog about.

Ted and I have only been close the past 3 years since we moved to Evanston and I could visit them on occasion. He is 13 years older than me and though we were close when I was alot younger, he left in 1957 after high school, got married in 1959 and we have never lived close to each other since then.

We started walking on Monday morning, and what was unusual for two men who rarely carry on a conversation with anyone, was that we talked. We shared thoughts, memories, concerns, and some of our own fears. We walked for an hour on Monday and Wednesday and for two hours on Tuesday. It became evident to me that Ted needed someone to talk to. And conversely, I needed someone to talk to. We shared memories of our parents, and what good people they are, of growing up in a home where we could be creative, where we had good meals and could listen to our sisters' conversations. We gained a greater appreciation for each other, and for the first time in my life, someone who shared personal concerns with me because he felt close to me.

I've never had friends with whom I could talk to like this. I felt like what I said mattered, and what he said mattered. We both shared similar teenage years without knowing it. I was kind of shy and felt like I wasn't important. Ted said he felt the same way. We both have trouble speaking with people but we are not afraid to speak in front of people.

It was a great feeling to have someone for whom I've had a great respect want to talk to me and with me. I've only had two or three occasions where I felt I could let my guard down and feel safe. It was a privilege to be with him and walk and talk. Maybe there will be a way that Deb and I can live even closer to Ted and Lora. I'm so greatful to have brother.

The Waiting Game

I thought I had a great interview last week for a job a the Hanford Nuclear Reservation. They wanted someone to do assessments of what they doing and be able to monitor and mentor subcontractors to understand the expectations for their jobs. It was great to see Corlet and Jack Thornton, Dale and Gloria, and Dave and Maria.

I looked at some homes in the tri-cities, but most of them are out of our league. Alot has changed there and it would be interesting to move back.

However, I would love to stay put because I love being able to visit our Utah kids and grandbabies.

Love
Dad

I'm Back

Since the election of 2008, I haven't been blogging because I felt that my views weren't important enough that anyone wanted to read. However, several comments from my kids indicated differently so here goes.

It is now Feb 8, 2009. I'm now a 20 hour per week marketing director for the local Domino's franchise. I still deliver pizzas, but at a much reduced rate because of my wages working as a marketeer.

We have been blessed by countless friends and family who have helped us financially. Deb and I were able to spend Thanksgiving in Sacramento with Trevor, Ellen, Rayley, Sam and Cathy. In December, we went to visit my brother Ted, his wife Lora and saw Kim and Guy Buchanon and Lora Ann and Allen Massey. We stayed overnight at Lora Ann's and they were so kind and gracious to put is up for night. We had some interesting conversations about what is happening with Ted and Lora.

I am still trying to find out why I have problems processing information. Apparently, through visits with friends, this seems to be the first step in a long, downward spiral that will eventually end in Alzheimers or as Denny Crane in "Boston Legal" calls it, "Mad Cow Disease". We are trying to get in contact with a neural psychologist in Provo to redo some testing he gave me two years ago to see if there is any more declination of abilities. According to Kim Buchanon, there is a place in San Diego that can really do a great job. However, insurance becomes an issue with both scenarios. Debbie has been working the phones trying to get information to the right places so we can be approved to make an appointment.

My optimism for a better life is running rampant. I know in whom I have trusted and in whom I have faith. Even though I don't do all the things through which blessings come, I have a willing heart.

I'm trying to be better, to be more positive, to be more organized and to lose weight this year. I've been walking more and eating less and it has benefitted me in a positive way.

I love each of my children and are greatful for the people they have become. When I hear about how the economy is affecting my children, then I began to get angry. I've screwed up with choices and I can accept that, but my children have made good choices and yet they become affected negatively from the sour economy. I wish the people who caused the problem would stand up and say, "We screwed up" and then put the controls and the attitudes in place to really help the economy. Handouts have never provided a posititve economic situation...lower taxes have. I learned many years ago that companies can hire more people and purchase new equipment when they have less taxes.

Election Fever

I'll be voting in my 10th President election on Tuesday. If I count the wins and losses, I guess its 6 winners and 3 losers. In 1992 I didn't think George HW Bush really wanted to be president any more and I voted for Ross Perot. This split the vote and Clinton won. Many people think Clinton was the best president in the 20th century. What he did was come to the center, politically, because the Republicans came into power in 1994 (Remember the contract with america?) That is why there was a balanced budget, and welfare reform by the end of his term. The best president in my lifetime (1972 and beyond) was undoubtedly Ronald Reagan. He changed Washington before Washington changed him. He brought the country out of the doldrums of Jimmy Carter. People believed in the American dream again. He stood up to the Soviets and caused them to collapse. He lowered taxes, removed regulations so that the market forces could moved foreward. He started the economy on an almost 20 year expansion that has been slowed, almost stopped by the housing mortgage debacle.

My concern is that the politics in this country has gotten so devisive that it is hard to distinguish who really has American interests at heart. There is a dearth of politcal leadership that makes a mockery of the American intelligence. Smoke and mirrors has been used to test the patience of the American people and I think on Tuesday, there may be a surprise.

My biggest hope is that good American people will vote for the right person and America can put their differences aside and we can move foreward.

Fred Newcomer

Trust in God

This September is one of meaningful contemplation. Here I am, turning 56 in the 14th and still unemployed and seeking for work. I'm sorry that this has been the story of my life. When I started out in 1977 I was going to work in the Nuclear Construction industry for the rest of my life. After Three Mile Island, the nuclear industry died. I worked in manufacturing, government contracts and cellular industries trying to keep my family afloat. Now I'm still trying get traction in the job market and nothing seems to fit. However, like Nephi, I know in whom I have trusted and I haven't given up hope.

We received work last night that little Gavin Spragues slipped the bonds of mortality and entered into perfection with his Heavenly Father. It has only been 16 months since his second cousin Hollis Newcomer passed away. Our love and trust of our Heavenly Father reminds us that His will be done. We don't know why little children barely removed from their pre-existant standing have to suffer and having completed their short missions, returned to the Father who gave them life. The two babies must be huge stalwart spirits and Heavenly Father couldn't let them be stained by mortality. As with any tragedy, though, there are survivors and our thoughts and prayers should be with them. It is my hope that Andre and Bethany will recover from this and love Gavin for the time they had with him.

Yes, Heavenly Father is in charge and only He knows the reasons for tragedy and misfortune.

Dbone

When I consider Derricks Blessing, and whenever I lay my hands on his head, I get a sense of spiritual greatness that has been cloaked in his disabilities. I feel that the Lord will gently peel back those disabilities as Derrick stays close to the Lord. His anger issues are issues of frustration (which we all have) because he wants to be like everyone else and knows that he isn't. I don't think as a family that we have jammed those disabilities down his throat, but maybe as parents we have jumped in to "save him" from certain situations. There is such a fine line with him about doing too much and doing not enough.

I appreciate all that his siblings are doing for him financially because we are not in a position to do much in that arena. I hope that as a family we will all love him and help him achieve everything that is possible for him to achieve.

Election Excitement (Finally

I had some serious concerns about this year's presidential elections because we had the potential of having 4 senators running (two Presidents and two VP's). For years I've worried about pompous senators who don't govern anything trying to be a president. That is the reason that for the past 16 years, the men in the white house were governers. Until last Friday when Senator McCain took the covers off of Sarah Palin, I was planning on writing in Mitt Romney's name when it came to the election. Now, I'm so pumped up for John McCain because last night he told us what he was going to do, why he was going to do it and he's going to do it by changing attitudes in Washington. I think Sarah Palin will be his secret weapon (for Trev--the Cardinals had a secret weapon in the '80's who did wonders for them) and she will crack the heads of Washington Insiders to do the right things. Not since Ronald Reagon gained the GOP nomination in 1980 have I been as excited about this election. I'm going to work hard to support McCain and other conservative Republicans. It's time we let our actions and our attitudes work to help the right candidates separate themselves from the bad candidates. I think in the end, good will triumph over mediocrity which is what the Dem's are promoting.

Have a great day.
Fred Newcomer

Wedding Day (1938)

Today would've been my parents 70th anniversary. It was 10 years ago that we met in Worland for the last time as parents and kids. As I look around at the world today, I realize that we were fortunate to have parents that loved and supported each other. Since I wasn't born until 1952 I missed all the situations that new marriages go through. I find that I think more and more about what good parents they were. They were positive about life, they didn't criticize each other and they loved each other. They were not perfect, but they dealt with life's situations the way we all should: deal with it and move on. I like to think that I came from good stock. Yes, they could've blamed other things for their life, but they didn't. They realized that life is full of choices and consequences. They learned as they went.

They were married at the Newcomer Ranch on Prairie Dog Creek in Sheridan County, Wy. Dad wouldn't get married until he had a job to help support his new wife. He taught school in Burns, Wy teaching veterans about ranching and farming. I think he said he signed a contract for $4500 /year. He and mom then moved to Lander, Wy where he taught school. After Lander, they moved to the ranch in Banner, Wy to help his dad (Edwin Vance Newcomer, Sr) while dad's younger brother Earl was serving in the Army. Following this, dad started working for the Federal Land Bank in Buffalo, and that's where we lived when I was born.

Mom and Dad provided a wonderful home, opportunities to learn and work, and taught me to serve others.

To them I say, Happy 70th Anniversary!!! Thank you for setting a wonderful example. We love you and miss you.

Fred M Newcomer

Mustard BBQ Sauce

I had a friend ask me about Southern BBQ sauce. I really like the mustard based sauces that we had in Orangeburg. When we were there last month, I wanted to eat at Antley's but didn't make it.

So I found a recipe on the web that appears to replicate the Antley's and I'll try it this weekend (maybe). Here it is for anyone to try also (Ryan and Elissa like to use gourmet stuff. I don't know if this qualifies) Have fun.
Dad

INGREDIENTS (Nutrition)
1 cup prepared yellow mustard
1/4 cup honey
1/4 cup light brown sugar
1/4 cup white vinegar
ground black pepper to taste
DIRECTIONS
In a saucepan over medium heat, stir together the mustard, honey, brown sugar and vinegar. Season with black pepper. Bring to a boil, and let simmer for 5 minutes. Pour over cooked pulled pork or beef. If you want more flavor, let the meat simmer in the sauce for about 30 minutes.

Communications Career Possibly Resurrected

Today I have an interview with the Uinta County Herald for a position as a full time reporter. This would be a complete change in my career and bring me back to my communications roots. I started out in Broadcast Journalism, then realized I enjoyed helping people to learn through multimedia presentations. Alas, I started working in quality control and quality assurance because there were no positions available for people with a "Non-commercial Telecommunications" specialty. So, I have endeavored to make quality assurance my lifetime career, but as most of you know it hasn't been my true calling since Icouldn't keep a job with it. I think it would have been better to graduate with an BS Engineering Degree and that would have fit the QA mold better.
So now I'm trying to change hats, shirts, shoes, etc to be a better communicator through a tiny newspaper in Evanston, Wy. Wish me luck as I try to make a great impression today.

Dad

Hailey Kay Queen of '08

We had Hailey with us that last day and a half and really had a great time with her. She's as sweet as her mom (Lacey) was and so easy to care for. Since she the oldest of the crop of '08 she's really fun to watch. What a cute smile and she perked up when she heard grandpa Fred's voice. Make's me feel good that we are close enough to watch her. Of course, Dallin also thought grampa Fred was good to be with when we were in Hope Mills. I guess in the long run, even though I miss Festus, grandkids are so much better than a half a dog tall and two dog's long dog. I love all my kids, spouses and grandkids. They are just the best.

Love,
Dad

Do I have time to really work

Deb and I have been staining the decks on our house. What we have done looks really good, and if I knew how to put a picture in my blog, I would include it. But it has been fun working together and mom has encouraged me to work on our Barbeque, fix it up and start using it without buying one of those big stainless steel Ques that I've been looking at and pining for. Our Que is big enough for the two of us and that' all I really need.

I've been working in the yard, the decks and need to finish the storage room. I don't really know if I can go back to work. But I want to because I enjoy training people, working together in teams to resolve problems, helping organizations improve their efficiency's and delighting their customers.

If I can just someone to give me call.....


Love
Dad

Financial Woes 2

We have (Deb and I) really tried to live within our means and do food storage and be prepared for anything. Its the job losses that have really cause us pain and I'm working hard to get that resolved.

The goal for this blog: Let everyone know that:
1. Living beneath your means is the best way to live.
2. Save at least 10 percent of your take home pay in a savings program. (if your employer has 401K available max it out to get the max of the companies matching pay).
3. Always pay an honest tithe
4. Don't allow want's to wipe away the needs. Plan and budget for both
5. Go to: www. daveramsey.com

Fred

Financial Woes

I was listening to Dave Ramsey yesterday (xm 165) and people have been calling in worried about the economy. He said the economy wasn't in that bad of shape because millions of dollars were still being spent on movies. Since movies are a "want to" and not a "have to" deal, then I agree with him. My parents lived through the depression by working and living very carefully. My dad wanted to go to the University of Wyoming and went his freshman year. The next year he bought a threshing machine and did custom threshing up and down Prairie Dog Creek in Sheridan County. The farmers had wheat, oats and barley to harvest and sell and he did the harvesting for them. My mom worked doing what ever she could because her mom was a single mom. When mom went to the University of Wyoming as a 16 year old, she cleaned houses and did laundry for her room and board and tuition. My uncle, Ralph Newcomer, wanted to go to the University of Wyoming to be an engineer but worked on the Ranch while my dad went to the U of W. He never did achieve his dream but became a very successful dairyman in the '50's and '60's. My dad always helped Uncle Ralph with milking the cows when he went to Sheridan.

I grew up knowing about the great depression because we lived simply with as self sufficient as we could. We had a big garden and canned and froze our vegetables. We had a cellar to keep our onions, carrots and potatoes in sand over the winter. We had chickens to provide eggs and meat. We sold eggs to people in town to earn a little extra money. We had a milk cow that gave us a calf every year for our beef and we drank the milk, made homemade icecream and mom made cottage cheese (I hated the smell of the rotten milk and to this day can't eat cottage cheese). Mom made my school shirts and pajama's on her little sewing machine. She baked bread on mondays and hung our clothes out to dry on a clothesline. She didn't get a clothes dryer until after we moved to Worland. Dad would hunt deer and elk to supplement our meat supply. We fished in Clear Creek behind our house.

I guess that is why when we had children that we focused on living within our means, developing food storage, having a garden, and canning the vegetables of the garden. When we bought our home in Bloomington, our loan was over 13% and the utilities to heat and cool our home were fairly high. So we had to be careful with our money. We did get a credit card and started to use it foolishly and we have spent the majority of our lives trying to stay out of credit card debt. Clothing could be high ticket items and we chose to go the middle road with our kids. I know they feel like they were unfortunate because they couldn't wear the designer clothes, the top tennis shoes etc. We didn't eat steak because it was too expensive. We went on vacations to visit family and we stopped at all kinds of interesting places so the kids could have fun. We watched movies together on TV, we played baseball and swam in the summer and shoveled walks in the winter.

Your mom and I grew up with not much money to have. I had friends who had money and I couldn't compete with them. Unfortunately, as I have worked, we have had sufficient money to pay the bills, save some, have a decent vehicle to drive, purchase a tent trailer, and help our kids once in a while.

I've learned over the years, that the economy is what makes our country great. It is small businessesand large businesses working together. It is helping people who are down and out that shows the world that we care, it is not giving money to people

During the depression, banks failed, foreclosure's boomed and factory's shut down because there was no money to fund them. The stock market went bust. It was a terrible time for the economy. When the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor, and manufacturing ramped up to fight WWII then the economy blossomed because people were needed to work and fight. Money was available to fight the war. Since the "great depression" we've had recessions, which meant that inflation rose. Inflation is when there is too much money in the system and the value of the money decreases. I remember a time in the late '60s and early '70s that inflation had risen a bit and President Nixon imposed wage and price controls to artificially support businesses. In the late '70s I was working in Nuclear Power Plant construction and wages for pipefitters were $26/hour. Stagflation became the word because interest was 16-20% and unemployment was high (about 7-8% I believe) Ronald Reagan coined this term and used it during his campaign in 1980 to defeat Jimmy Carter.

The church has promoted self sufficiency and food storage since the depression era to help members (and the world) be prepared for a rainy day. We have