Life Changes (again)

As has happened over the last 15 years, I find myself home again without a job. My worst fear. It seems that I can't find a place that I can excel, but then maybe the problem is with me. I won't give up, though. There are more jobs here than in Evanston, so I'm glad I'm here. I may go into IT development, then use my QA skills to do software quality assurance. There are alot of opportunities for this kind of work. Anyway, we'll regroup and see if I can figure it out.

My Favority Sister in Law

Today I received word that Lora Helen Parker Newcomer passed away last night in her sleep. She was my secret girl friend even after she had married my brother Ted and had four kids. Lora was a stickler for organization, she could talk to anyone and size them up in about 30 seconds. She learned to cook wonderful dishes after living in the south, Okinawa and other parts while Ted was in the Air Force. She had a beautiful smile, a quick wit and her eyes always sparkled when she was having fun. Lora hasn't been the same Lora for almost 4 years as she was diagnosed with a brain disease that took away her motor skills and verbal skills but not her memory or personality. I last saw her last October when us siblings celebrated Ted and Lora's 50th wedding anniversary. She got a degree in Interior Design at the University of Wyoming, was a docent at the Buffalo Bill Historical Museum in Cody, Wy and taught Jr High and High School. She was a wonderful wife and mother. I hope she is having a wonderful time talking to her father, who preceded her in death in 1972. She will be missed by those of us who knew her and loved her.

35 Years and Still Going Strong

I know this is late, but my heart is still beating stronger than ever for my sweetheart, lover, confident and best friend. Because our anniversary fell on a Thursday(May 20th), we decided to do the actual celebrating on Friday (May 21). So, after work we went to a restaurant and had lobster tail, then went to an opera in downtown Salt Lake. The opera was from Puccini and involved two one act operas. The first one was a tragedy about a nun in an Italian convent. Her family hadn't been to visit her for years and she had a terrible secret...she had given birth to an illegitimate son before she became a nun and found out that her son had died. So, she wanted to kill herself to be with her son. Then the second one was a farce about a rich man who was on his deathbed and all his relatives were waiting for him to die. Anyway, without boring anyone who might want to read this, the operas were great but the fact that my wife is still with me after all these years is the best part. We have enjoyed each others company all these years and love the children that she bore. My life has been so much better as a married man. I couldn't have accomplished nearly as much in my life without my Debbie by my side. I love her so and want my children and friends who read this to know that she has made me a better person. Like all men that I know, I married above myself. She is the best person I could have ever married.

Roots

Debbie and I recently drove the Banner Wyoming to honor my Uncle Ralph and Aunt Nellie for being married for 70 years. The east side of the Big Horn Mountains is where my roots are firmly buried. My father was born in Banner, Wy, my mother born in Oshoto, Wy (by Sundance and Devils Tower) When I arrived in 1952 I was born in Buffalo, Wy where my father had found employment with the Federal Land Bank. Two weeks ago I drove through Buffalo to look at favorite places and familiar sites. The Masonic Temple which was where my dad had his office was being torn down. It saddened me because one more pillar of my youth is gone. The high school where I watched my brother and sisters play basketball, drama and band and where I studied, played in the band, ran track and played basketball has been torn down. The land that my parents owned ( a mere ten acres) now has three homes other than the one I grew up in. The garden spot where I anxiously watched as dad plowed in the spring so we could plant all the vegetables that would sustain us through the year is covered by a shed.

Today I sit in our new home in Lehi, UT having spent 32 years, 7 months and 10 days not living in Utah. I think now that Debbie and I can really put down roots. We've had neighbors offer to help, bring fresh baked banana bread or just drop in to introduce themselves. I'm excited to move into this phase of our life where we can visit our children and they can visit us and it only takes 10 minutes to get from one house to another.

Many years ago, a musical called "Paint Your Wagon" had a song which I feel has been the story of my life. "Wandering Star". The question is: have I finaly found a place to live where I can feel comfortable? Can I stay employed long enough to save some monies upon my sweet wife and I can depend to serve a mission? Will I stay healthy enough to spend time with my children and grandchildren and watch them grow and progress?

I felt the tug of Newcomer roots two weeks ago when I visited with my cousins. Debbie has felt the tug of Sprague and Sessions roots when visiting Powell and Byron, Wy. Now our roots are in Utah Valley and we can visit other places, but I finally feel that we have truly found our home.

Rayley

I have been having so much fun with granddaughter Rayley this week. She is a very busy girl for being 17 months old. She's a great, fearless climber. She climbs on chairs, her high chair, sofas and gets into things. She likes to climb on the piano and the back of davenport. She's had a cold this week and runs out of both nostrils, but it doesn't slow her down. My best way of describing her is this: a 17th month body with a 24 month spirit. She is like her dad. Once he got caught up with his preemie time, he jumped ahead and couldn't wait for anything.

I'm so glad that Mom and I could be here with Trevor and Ellen. No Snow, no below 20 degree temps. No salt on the roads. Its been real nice. I love all of our children and grandchildren, no matter where they live.

Peace on Earth, Good Will Toward Men

One of my favorite Christmas Hymns is "I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day" During the Vietnam War in the Mid '60's, the words "Peace on Earth, Good Will Toward Men" seemed hollow to me because there wasn't peace on earth and I often wondered, if in my life time, I would ever experience that wonderful sense of having peace. Over the years, I have learned that peace on earth begins in the home.

There is a song that begins, "A house becomes a home when there's love inside". This is true. A home is the harbinger of goodness, of learning and teaching respect towards each other by being good examples. Each of our homes is not perfect, but when we are willing to work with one another, communicate our thoughts and feelings toward one another, and seek out the best in one another, our houses truly become of home where love abounds.

As Christmas fills our hearts with love for our spouses, our children and grandchildren, we desire look for the goodness, the character of who we are, the sweetness in all of our interactions. The world is full of crassness, criticism, manipulation, hate, envy and simple selfishness. I appreciate that we have children who are willing to share with one another and to help one another as circumstances allow.

Mom and I are in Elko Nev where we spent the night and we will be traveling to Trevors' today to spend the Christmas holiday with his family. We are grateful beyond words to have had the opportunity to share our lives with so many of our family members this past year. We have grown closer to our grandchildren, our children, their spouses and our own siblings. I hope everyone understands that mom and I delight in being around members of our family.

Things happen in this life where we have little choice over the matter. And sometimes we make choices with good intentions but the consequences are not what we expected. We all fall into this situation, and it really becomes our choice on how we respond to these situations. We can offer words of criticism, spread gossip and purposefully hurt the other person....or we can be understanding, listen to understand and subject the natural man to the higher law of Christ like love.

Yesterday in a Walmart, I was in a line at the self checkout stand when this man in front of me who was waiting with several people in front of him. He suddenly slammed things from his hand into his cart, then walked in front of two people who were also waiting, grabbed their cart and pushed it to the next open kiosk. He loudly said they should move forward instead of waiting and waiting. I thought it was neat that he was helping a family. Then he came back to his cart and in a loud voice exclaimed, "How can people be so stupid. I can't believe stupid people don't look ahead." When he said this, another man in front of him, looked around and said, "Hey, this is Christmas season, we don't need that".
I observed this and thought it was interesting that in helping the other people he did good, but in opening his mouth and making critical remarks he revealed who he really was.

I know that I have made disparaging remarks in my lifetime and I am not perfect in being helpful. It is a challenge for me to be aware of what I am saying and to recognize where I could be more helpful.I really try not to say things that will be hurtful. If I can do better at this, and be more cognizant of where I can be most help, then maybe our home can be a better source of "Peace on Earth, Good Will Toward Men."

I wish all who read this a very Merry Christmas and hope that 2010 will be a wonderful New Year for all of us.

Brotherhood Found

I had an interesting experience this past Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. Deb and I went to visit Ted and Lora at their house in Ft. Collins, Co. Before we went to bed on Sunday night, I asked Ted if he wanted to walk with me in the morning. He said he did. What happened over the next three mornings is what I want to blog about.

Ted and I have only been close the past 3 years since we moved to Evanston and I could visit them on occasion. He is 13 years older than me and though we were close when I was alot younger, he left in 1957 after high school, got married in 1959 and we have never lived close to each other since then.

We started walking on Monday morning, and what was unusual for two men who rarely carry on a conversation with anyone, was that we talked. We shared thoughts, memories, concerns, and some of our own fears. We walked for an hour on Monday and Wednesday and for two hours on Tuesday. It became evident to me that Ted needed someone to talk to. And conversely, I needed someone to talk to. We shared memories of our parents, and what good people they are, of growing up in a home where we could be creative, where we had good meals and could listen to our sisters' conversations. We gained a greater appreciation for each other, and for the first time in my life, someone who shared personal concerns with me because he felt close to me.

I've never had friends with whom I could talk to like this. I felt like what I said mattered, and what he said mattered. We both shared similar teenage years without knowing it. I was kind of shy and felt like I wasn't important. Ted said he felt the same way. We both have trouble speaking with people but we are not afraid to speak in front of people.

It was a great feeling to have someone for whom I've had a great respect want to talk to me and with me. I've only had two or three occasions where I felt I could let my guard down and feel safe. It was a privilege to be with him and walk and talk. Maybe there will be a way that Deb and I can live even closer to Ted and Lora. I'm so greatful to have brother.